Momma needs a little ME time!

I survived Tuesday, to tell you the truth the thought of Tuesday was harder for me than the actual day.  Also I was so busy at work that I barely sat down until 2:30 when I finally got to eat my lunch.  Such is my life lately BUSY, BUSY, BUSY!

I'm not trying to complain because quite honestly I like to be busy, but I am going to.  I'm the kind of person that hate's having nothing to do, a full calendar makes me happy.  But lately the feeling of overwhelmed hits me like a ton of bricks roughly around 8pm every Tuesday without fail, and doesn't go away until about the same time Thursday night.  Seriously a 2 day 20 hour work week would be totally fine with me.   I mentioned it before but my husband started a new job the first week of August.  When he's working he is out of town, since he started he has been home for a grand total of I think 6 days....6 days folks, out of 46...so yeah, I'm not used to being a single parent.  And I work 10 hour shifts, an hour from home...do the math I get up at 4:30am get myself ready for work, get Addison up and head to the babysitters house by 5:15-5:20am, I leave work at 5:30 pm, drive to my car, drive to the sitters, get home at just about 10 minutes to 7...7PM.  That's real close to 14 hour days outside the house.    Andplusalso, I still have to make Addison and I dinner, find time to do household things, I try and squeeze in a workout, give Addison a bath and get her in bed close to 9.  Nights without toddler breakdowns aren't that horrible, but let me tell you right now on I-didn't-get-enough-nap-break-down-of-the-century-nights, we are both lucky to make it out alive - FOR REAL.  Of course after I get her to be I then spend any time I can editing pictures for an hour or two (lately till 11:30 when I curse myself for staying up too late).  After 2 days I am exhausted, and I still have 2 days left to go.  THANKFULLY it is Thursday (my Friday) and tomorrow I will go back to LOVING working 4 10's cause having a 3 day weekend every weekend is wonderful, it would just be nice to not be so stressed out all week long.  Part of me (a ginormous part of me) wishes I was a stay at home mom, or an I only work part time mom right now.

Breathing time, I need some.  And a few chill pills.

On top of my "real job", I've been doing my photography on the side, where busy is a good great thing, but adding to my stress level.  I've had a VERY busy September, and I love it, but wow I've had a session (or two) almost every day that I've not worked my real job.  Making me feel even more like I don't want to go to work Mon-Thurs.  I was actually relieved when one of my sessions this weekend rescheduled with me to give me an extra free day and I had purposely left one open because I knew I needed some time off.  (I have things that need paint on them!)

Good news is Tony has next week off.  ALL WEEK.  So we will be happy to have him home.  Partly because we miss him, mostly because mommy is going crazy.  :)  a little extra sleeping for me, and hopefully a lot less stress.  I got us tickets to the Lion's game on our anniversary so I am looking forward to that on the 30th also!

So excuse any extra absentmindedness, bitchiness, or my ability to just not notice anything around me.  My brain has no time for anyone else's crap.  I am dead on my feet and I think I might start developing narcolepsy.  For reals.

Venting and Some Handwriting

This was going to be a post of me whining about how I called a "Family Care Day" off work today in order to keep myself sane.  Oh wait it still is going to be, I am stressed to the max and have yet to find a balance between keeping my house the way I want it to be, fixing meals, raising an adorable wee one, and working.  I am exhausted.

The last few days I suck every last seconds out of my morning routine (ie. skip pumping before work which is not cool) and stay in bed for the extra 30 mins because I am THAT tired.  I leave the house at 5am, meet with carpool people get carpool van, get to work by 6am, work till 2:30.  Mind you its not a desk job by any means I am on my feet throughout most of the day lifting, bending and getting up and down off the floor. Drive the carpool back to the carpool lot, get my truck, drive home, get home at 3:30pm.  Want to accomplish so much but want nothing more than to sit down and relax.  Baby needs to nurse, baby needs to be fed, dishes need done, dinner needs cooked, house needs cleaned (won't happen most likely) , wish for 20 minutes of alone time, baby needs a bath, wish for a shower, don't have time, oh look its 9pm, try to get baby to sleep, screaming, screaming, screaming, finally asleep..oh joy its 11:30....dread the alarm clock.  That is my life right now, its killing me, I'm on the verge of flipping out on people every minute of the day.  I need a stiff drink and a good vacation!  Hence the call in today, we'll refer to it as a mental health day but for work sake it was a day to take care of my family, which is true cause I was on the verge of running away! :)  Less than 6 hours of very interrupted sleep is just not doing it for my body anymore. 

So I have spent my morning attempting to sleep in, although being awake more than 7 times between when I hit the sheets at 11:30 last night and when I dragged myself out of bed at 9:30 I hardly call sleep.  Then Miss Addison and I had some breakfast and I deep cleaned the dining room, washed cat & dog beds, washed highchair pads, and started on the living room.  Addison has been snoozing now for the past 40 minutes and I have been sipping coffee (with my favorite Peppermint Mocha Coffee-Mate Creamer which btw is now not just seasonal..yay!) jamming out to my latest obsession Taylor Swifts Speak Now CD (don't judge me I love it!)  It won't last much longer but at least she will be happily entertained by the dogs and cats while I finish cleaning the living room and move on to the kitchen and our bedroom before I give into the shower that has been calling my name!  It doesn't sound relaxing but its what I needed this cluttered messy house stresses me out!  

Ahhhgh!  So thats how life has been lately stressful, I'm quick to snap at my husband most days, mostly because I am stressed out, and a little because he does need to step it up.  I'm trying to chill out some and if it has to be done by a day off work than so be it.  Momma can't always keep it all together!  

So done whining and venting, while I was reading up on the blogs I stalk this morning I came across a few of the handwriting blogs.  I love this and I had to do it myself, I love to see other people's handwriting, it impresses me to see how neat some people write that you would never expect, the same for the sloppy writers!  :)  So share yours too! 

sorry for the out of focusness

I think its weird to look at my handwriting and I wonder where I picked up the certain quirky things that I do like not crossing my capital I's...?  and the randomness of capital lettering, and the almost non existance of my i's when writing them in the middle of a word.  Also why am I such a page hog, why do I write so large and in charge??